Alone with my fears
by Winter
Summary: Wolf is faced with his worst fears and hints a spark of somthing...noble


Alone with my fears  
  
By Edward "Winter" Weldon  
  
"What the hell do you mean he's disappeared?" I Scream. He doesn't answer me fast enough, he   
just stands they're stammering with an I'm-so-stupid look plastered on his face. So I just ball up   
my fist and hit him, knocking him to the floor with blood pouring from his snout.   
  
"You were his wing-man Pigma, you were supposed to be watching out for him. Now you are   
going to get back out there and find him," I continue to snarl at the quaking pig on the deck. I can   
see my own bared fangs reflected in his wide eyes. I feel like tearing his throat out with my own   
teeth. But then again, do I want to have to clean his blood off the deck?  
  
Pigma stops shaking long enough to get up off the deck and stand up to leave. Just before he   
reaches the door, I decide to make sure he gets the point. "Oh and if anything has happened to   
Reace, I am going to personally skin you alive, fillet you and hang your mangled mutilated carcass   
on my bulkhead. Do I make myself clear?" I add, my hand coming to rest on the hilt of my dagger.   
  
As Pigma runs sweating towards the flight deck, I turn back to view port of the bridge aboard our   
command ship, the Renegade. I stare out at the stars and the energy and rage drains out of me. That   
little display with Pigma, that was more for his benefit than anything else, it may sound like a   
stereotype, but that was mostly just staged to hide my own fears. My fear of losing Reace, my only   
son and the one thing I have left that really matters to me.  
  
Why did I bring him into this, why? True I needed a new pilot to replace Andrew after we lost him   
in that fight with Starfox, but there were other pilots. Replacing Andrew wouldn't be hard; he was   
dead weight anyway. But I wanted the best. Reace just happened to be damned good. Why did   
Reace have to be so damned good?  
  
My thoughts wander. I think back to a few years ago. Reace's first contract, he was only   
seventeen, but he was tough. The contract wasn't much. A standard six-month corporate Reaver   
job with Kwan-Yin defence technologies. But still, I was so proud of him. The two of us went out   
together, got drunk off our ass and we both got tattooed.   
  
I look down at the flaming dagger and steel wings tattoo on my arm. The words "Death from   
above," etched into the fur. I lost Diana; I'm not going to lose Reace. I won't let Mcloud beat me.  
  
I slam my fist against the intercom button and call down to Pigma down on the flight deck as he   
readies his Wolfen-2 for take off. "Pigma, forget going to find Reace. I trusted you with his safety   
once, I'm going to find him myself," I snarl.   
  
I hurry down to the flight deck. Under the raging contemptuous exterior that I'm displaying to   
Pigma and Leon, I'm terrified. After Mcloud took my Diana, Reace was the only thing that kept   
me sane. If any thing has happened to him well lets just say that the Lylat system's seen nothing   
yet.   
  
Hours later, I can see the boiling, angry red cloud of sector-Z. I prefer to use its rather more poetic   
name: Shiva's rift. Even after six years they still haven't cleared up the debris field left over from   
the starbase that used to be here. According to Pigma, this is where he last saw Reace's ship.  
  
There's an awful lot of junk out there. Finding a specific wreck in there is going to be tough. No, I   
can't think like that. Reace is alive I know it. Reace is a survivor, like me. This is a kid who   
survived third degree plasma burns to thirty percent of his body when he was just seven.   
  
I can't think about the scars on my son's body with out passing a hand over the patch that covers   
my ruined right eye. The eye I lost in the same attack that scarred my son; that killed my wife.   
  
Then something sparkles. In the zero gravity inside the cockpit, it hangs like a diamond or even a   
star. Then there are more of them. They glitter like a miniature galaxy. They're my tears.   
Something I thought I'd forgotten how to do.  
  
I set my sensors to scan for anything that might be from Reace's ship, Stalker. Then I make pass,   
after pass, after pass on the debris field. Hours pass; I set my ship to autopilot as the lids of my   
good eye get heavy.   
  
Diana? Are…are you really there? You're just as I remember. White fur, long dark hair and   
sparkling blue eyes. Just like that day when…Fire erupts between us. I can hear her screaming. I   
howl in anguish and try to fight through the flames to get to her. A conduit ruptures next to me.   
Searing pain hits my face, scorching my right eye. Then I hear another cry. I pull myself up and   
look round with my one remaining eye. Reace…REACE!  
  
Then I jolt awake. The blaring from the computer means that it's found something. I watch the   
readout on the display. A chunk of debris, different from the thousands of other bits of trash   
floating out here. The computer can identify it. The engine pod from a Kwan-Yin YF-19 Enforcer   
class gunship, Stalker. A little piece of severance pay from Reace's rather generous first   
employers.   
  
That means that Reace was here. Maybe I will let Pigma live after all. But then I see the state the   
pod is in. Its been torn away and crushed like a beer can. My heart gets caught in my throat as I   
think about what condition the rest of my son's ship must be in. Or even…what condition my son   
is in.  
  
Wait a minute. My computer detects a trail of fuel vapour. Of course, when what ever hit Stalker   
separated the engine nacelle from the main fuselage, the fuel line would have been severed leaving   
a trail from the ship that I could follow. There may still be a chance to find him.  
  
The nav-system gives me a heading and I hit full burn. I'll find you Reace. I promise…  
  
To be continued…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
